Caffeine
I was out with a friend of mine the other day and, because it was 7:30 at night, I grabbed a decaf coffee at one of the fifteen Starbucks located within a six minute walk of my apartment. While sipping my piping hot beverage I mused "how do they decaffeinate coffee?", to which my friend laughed. Thanks man, I wasn't kidding. How do they decaffeinate coffee and how does one really know that it is decaf? Someone opine on this, please.
In unrelated news (okay, it's vaguely related because it occurred en route to obtaining yet more coffee, of the caffeinated variety this time), a coworker of mine told me he had something for me: it was an Evangelical pamphlet. He had a pretty deadpan delivery, and I was unsure if he possessed a level of dark sarcasm to rival my own, or if he really felt my soul needed saving. I did keep it though; it was full of really great, uplifting excerpts from the good Book (of guilt). Stuff like: Christ died for your sins so you should never try to seek happiness; we're all condemned to hell the minute we're born; Freud called, your mother hates you; and don't eat donuts, tubby. Religion, so joyous and happy making.
As a joke, I'm going to create a religion and say some shit about people being expelled from earth and then returning to earth and being dumped in volcanoes because they were bad, and then their ghosts wander the earth and then more humans came and they got the alien/ghost DNA in them and you have to test your level of bad alien DNA. And then I'm going to marry Katie Holmes after I knock her up. I'm actually kind of scared writing this, since Tom Cruise seems to have mythical, far reaching powers that enable him to control the media (maybe it's the bad alien/ghost DNA). I still haven't seen the Scientology South Park, it's like it's verboten or something! But here's the really creepy thing: has anyone seen the trailer for the new Will Ferrell movie Talledega Nights: the Ballad of Ricky Bobby? When the clips first came out they showcased Will Ferrell running around in his underwear (again) screaming "I'm on fire! Help me, Jesus! Help me, Tom Cruise!" - I assume an homage to Days of Thunder. Anyways, the new trailers have him saying "I'm on fire! Help me, Jesus! Help me, Oprah Winfrey!". Come on, how weird is that? Especially after Cruise wigged out on the Oprah Winfrey show. It's conspiracy, man.
In unrelated news (okay, it's vaguely related because it occurred en route to obtaining yet more coffee, of the caffeinated variety this time), a coworker of mine told me he had something for me: it was an Evangelical pamphlet. He had a pretty deadpan delivery, and I was unsure if he possessed a level of dark sarcasm to rival my own, or if he really felt my soul needed saving. I did keep it though; it was full of really great, uplifting excerpts from the good Book (of guilt). Stuff like: Christ died for your sins so you should never try to seek happiness; we're all condemned to hell the minute we're born; Freud called, your mother hates you; and don't eat donuts, tubby. Religion, so joyous and happy making.
As a joke, I'm going to create a religion and say some shit about people being expelled from earth and then returning to earth and being dumped in volcanoes because they were bad, and then their ghosts wander the earth and then more humans came and they got the alien/ghost DNA in them and you have to test your level of bad alien DNA. And then I'm going to marry Katie Holmes after I knock her up. I'm actually kind of scared writing this, since Tom Cruise seems to have mythical, far reaching powers that enable him to control the media (maybe it's the bad alien/ghost DNA). I still haven't seen the Scientology South Park, it's like it's verboten or something! But here's the really creepy thing: has anyone seen the trailer for the new Will Ferrell movie Talledega Nights: the Ballad of Ricky Bobby? When the clips first came out they showcased Will Ferrell running around in his underwear (again) screaming "I'm on fire! Help me, Jesus! Help me, Tom Cruise!" - I assume an homage to Days of Thunder. Anyways, the new trailers have him saying "I'm on fire! Help me, Jesus! Help me, Oprah Winfrey!". Come on, how weird is that? Especially after Cruise wigged out on the Oprah Winfrey show. It's conspiracy, man.
posted by Duder at 9:21 PM
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