Phantom... of an opera
Last night I had dinner and went to see Phantom of the Opera with some good friends. I really had no idea of what to expect, which turned out to be a good thing. Where to begin?
The opening scene was kind of entertaining (set in the future), showcasing an auction of some infamous opera items: the cymbal bashing monkey, something else of some significance, and the opera's chandelier - renowned because it was this chandelier that comes crashing down on our heroine (unfortunately not killing her). Anyways, as the auctioneer announces the chandelier it starts to light up and move about maniacally as the famous chords from the opera are pounded out on the organ. As the chandelier lurches to life, swaying and shaking, with dark and nefarious music belting out of the orchestra pit I think: this could be cool. Okay yeah, and then the chandelier breaks. I'm not kidding; it goes from storming and swashbuckling over the stage to kind of jiggling and limping around (while the music is still bellowing feverishly) like Richard Simmons. It kind of meanders and shimmies around the stage for a while (you can practically hear the stage hands sweating) and then an announcement is made that they are having technical difficulties, and could we please be patient. So they fix it and the show goes on.
Now, I don't know how savvy you are on the storyline of Phantom, but I must confess that I had some questions as the plot unfurled. Here are my questions (along with some assumptions):
1) apparently the heroine, Christine, was being tutored by the phantom (though she never saw him), and she referred to him as the "Angel of Music" and thought that he was either: a) the ghost of her dead father or b) an angel sent to her by her dead father. Right. So just to clarify: she's getting tutored by a disembodied voice that has something to do with her dead dad, and she's okay with that.
2) when all the opera singers sing at the top of their lungs (the more cultured version of a banjo duel), what they are singing is unintelligible, therefore critical dialogues are not understood, leaving the opera patron perplexed and with a headache. This isn't an assumption, it's just my humble observation.
3) the phantom can shoot fireworks from his staff. I was totally hoping the curtains would catch on fire, but they didn't.
4) the opera's ballet mistress also has a staff (but no pyrotechnic abilities) and I think the fact that both she and the phantom have staffs is an avenue that should be explored. To quote a friend of mine, it would great to see them "fight like Jedi".
5) the phantom isn't really a phantom at all. He's a disfigured guy that lives beneath the opera house. When the second act began, I started to refer to him as the "monkey boy in the basement". It helped assuage the fact that I really had to go pee.
6) the lyrics were really bad. Here is an example:
RAOUL
Why have you brought us here?
CHRISTINE
Don't take me back there!
RAOUL
We must return!
CHRISTINE
He'll kill me!
RAOUL
Be still now . . .
CHRISTINE
His eyes will find me there!
RAOUL
Christine, don't say that . . .
CHRISTINE
Those eyes that burn!
RAOUL
Don't even think it . . .
CHRlSTlNE
And if he has to kill
a thousand men -
RAOUL
Forget this waking nightmare . . .
Yeah, it actually goes on longer than this. And they sing it, they don't talk it.
7) I'm going to sing instead of talking at work on Tuesday.
Okay, so that was pretty much it. Oh, except that people stood up and starting giving a standing O at the end. I did not, though I do think a shout out should go to the chandelier guys, for the Shakira imitation.
Then I came home to my lovah, and we discussed a mind-blowing movie that we recently watched called My Dinner with Andre. It was absolutely stellar and one of the best movies I have ever seen. I strongly encourage you to rent it. And then, as though karma wanted to reward me for the 2.5 hours I had spent at the Queen E earlier in the evening: the Big Lebowski came on. Lotta strands in old duder's head right now. God bless the Coen brothers. Now that's an opera I'd pay to see.
The opening scene was kind of entertaining (set in the future), showcasing an auction of some infamous opera items: the cymbal bashing monkey, something else of some significance, and the opera's chandelier - renowned because it was this chandelier that comes crashing down on our heroine (unfortunately not killing her). Anyways, as the auctioneer announces the chandelier it starts to light up and move about maniacally as the famous chords from the opera are pounded out on the organ. As the chandelier lurches to life, swaying and shaking, with dark and nefarious music belting out of the orchestra pit I think: this could be cool. Okay yeah, and then the chandelier breaks. I'm not kidding; it goes from storming and swashbuckling over the stage to kind of jiggling and limping around (while the music is still bellowing feverishly) like Richard Simmons. It kind of meanders and shimmies around the stage for a while (you can practically hear the stage hands sweating) and then an announcement is made that they are having technical difficulties, and could we please be patient. So they fix it and the show goes on.
Now, I don't know how savvy you are on the storyline of Phantom, but I must confess that I had some questions as the plot unfurled. Here are my questions (along with some assumptions):
1) apparently the heroine, Christine, was being tutored by the phantom (though she never saw him), and she referred to him as the "Angel of Music" and thought that he was either: a) the ghost of her dead father or b) an angel sent to her by her dead father. Right. So just to clarify: she's getting tutored by a disembodied voice that has something to do with her dead dad, and she's okay with that.
2) when all the opera singers sing at the top of their lungs (the more cultured version of a banjo duel), what they are singing is unintelligible, therefore critical dialogues are not understood, leaving the opera patron perplexed and with a headache. This isn't an assumption, it's just my humble observation.
3) the phantom can shoot fireworks from his staff. I was totally hoping the curtains would catch on fire, but they didn't.
4) the opera's ballet mistress also has a staff (but no pyrotechnic abilities) and I think the fact that both she and the phantom have staffs is an avenue that should be explored. To quote a friend of mine, it would great to see them "fight like Jedi".
5) the phantom isn't really a phantom at all. He's a disfigured guy that lives beneath the opera house. When the second act began, I started to refer to him as the "monkey boy in the basement". It helped assuage the fact that I really had to go pee.
6) the lyrics were really bad. Here is an example:
RAOUL
Why have you brought us here?
CHRISTINE
Don't take me back there!
RAOUL
We must return!
CHRISTINE
He'll kill me!
RAOUL
Be still now . . .
CHRISTINE
His eyes will find me there!
RAOUL
Christine, don't say that . . .
CHRISTINE
Those eyes that burn!
RAOUL
Don't even think it . . .
CHRlSTlNE
And if he has to kill
a thousand men -
RAOUL
Forget this waking nightmare . . .
Yeah, it actually goes on longer than this. And they sing it, they don't talk it.
7) I'm going to sing instead of talking at work on Tuesday.
Okay, so that was pretty much it. Oh, except that people stood up and starting giving a standing O at the end. I did not, though I do think a shout out should go to the chandelier guys, for the Shakira imitation.
Then I came home to my lovah, and we discussed a mind-blowing movie that we recently watched called My Dinner with Andre. It was absolutely stellar and one of the best movies I have ever seen. I strongly encourage you to rent it. And then, as though karma wanted to reward me for the 2.5 hours I had spent at the Queen E earlier in the evening: the Big Lebowski came on. Lotta strands in old duder's head right now. God bless the Coen brothers. Now that's an opera I'd pay to see.
posted by Duder at 12:03 PM
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