How to quickly lose your job

This is great. My day began when I was hauled into a 90 minute meeting with the No. 1 and No. 2 in command of the company. My manager was supposed to be in the meeting, but she is sick and for some reason they thought that I would suffice. I will interject here that I still have not had a good night’s sleep and that my eyes actually physically pain me. They are red. It looks like I have smoked a big, fat jay. Which ties in well with my inability to articulate succinctly or send emails that make one iota of sense. The CEO of the company asked me for my input on something and I believe my response was “debit, debit, credit, RDTOH, NRTC, pretty, shiny!”. Stellar. And then my stomach started growling and I feared making eye contact because my eyes feel like burning coals boring into my head. So they totally think that I’m shifty.
Then, a few minutes ago the CFO sent an email out that he couldn’t make an after work function on Friday because “unfortunately” he would be out of town that day. I emailed back to him “unfortunately for whom?”. Yeah, so he came in to say that I was lucky that I had replied to him only, and not cc’d everyone on the original email list. Sleep deprivation rocks. He asked me if it was okay if he left early today and I said that yes, because he had earned my respect he could leave early. And now he is leaving and he just told the marketing department to “keep an eye” on me and make sure I stay until five.
Ah, yes. One day I will have to deal with upper management with no sense of humor. That will be a short career span on the Duder’s resume.