I'm not making this up
Okay, I know I’m spending an inordinate amount of time blogging about my foray into online dating, but some of this stuff you can’t make up. After I logged on this morning (to a 27 year old ex-elite athlete who was chomping at the bit to engage in a bit of instant messaging with me: close window, close window!) there was another smile for me. From a guy in TEXAS. Why are you smiling at me? You don’t LIVE HERE. It gets better. Like my friend the 56 year old Leonard Cohen wannabe he wants to “rock my world”. Okay yeah, and he’s married. Am I missing something? I have a married Texan that wants to have sex with me. Oh my god, he’ll probably want to do it wearing a ten gallon hat and I have to talk dirty to him about light sweet crude or something. Jesus Christ.
The sad thing is (well, there are any number of sad things in my life, but this is the saddest), I found that hot drummer that I bumped into last month at the King’s Head. I saw his picture and thought: that’s the guy! Which I think is a pretty interesting story that we could tell to our friends when we get married. It’s also nice to know that the strange woman he was with didn’t take him home in his inebriated state and lock him up in her basement. At any rate, I shot him a friendly little note saying “I live in Texas, am married and I would like to rock your world”… no wait, that’s something that only someone from Texas could come up with… oh my god, what if it was George Bush!! His wife is pretty ugly. Wow. I should call Monica Lewinksy. Where was I going with all this? Oh right, I sent him a note saying that I thought I had run into him at the pub last month and was his name S, to which he replied that indeed it was and wasn’t it a fun pub. So I pondered. Did he understand that that was the best possible come on that I could come up with? Was he aware that the subtext of my message was more like “during the ten minutes I spent in your general vicinity I found you wildly desirable and would totally have sex with you on our third date”? I asked JupiterGirl who confirmed for me once again that boys are dumb and you have to spell it out for them. So I sent another, more strongly worded message and said that I would “definitely be interested” in getting together for drinks and coffee. Seriously, I said “definitely”. This means that if he were to say, “do you want to go for a beer” I would “definitely” say yes. The positive part of this story? He has not deleted that note from me yet. The negative? I sent it two days ago.
Again, my apologies for boring you with this online dating which is proving almost as addictive as blogging! It’s just fun. For now. And then after that cats will be fun. And cleaning kitty litter and dealing with hairballs. Fun. I think I’m going to look into the cost of flights to Houston…
The sad thing is (well, there are any number of sad things in my life, but this is the saddest), I found that hot drummer that I bumped into last month at the King’s Head. I saw his picture and thought: that’s the guy! Which I think is a pretty interesting story that we could tell to our friends when we get married. It’s also nice to know that the strange woman he was with didn’t take him home in his inebriated state and lock him up in her basement. At any rate, I shot him a friendly little note saying “I live in Texas, am married and I would like to rock your world”… no wait, that’s something that only someone from Texas could come up with… oh my god, what if it was George Bush!! His wife is pretty ugly. Wow. I should call Monica Lewinksy. Where was I going with all this? Oh right, I sent him a note saying that I thought I had run into him at the pub last month and was his name S, to which he replied that indeed it was and wasn’t it a fun pub. So I pondered. Did he understand that that was the best possible come on that I could come up with? Was he aware that the subtext of my message was more like “during the ten minutes I spent in your general vicinity I found you wildly desirable and would totally have sex with you on our third date”? I asked JupiterGirl who confirmed for me once again that boys are dumb and you have to spell it out for them. So I sent another, more strongly worded message and said that I would “definitely be interested” in getting together for drinks and coffee. Seriously, I said “definitely”. This means that if he were to say, “do you want to go for a beer” I would “definitely” say yes. The positive part of this story? He has not deleted that note from me yet. The negative? I sent it two days ago.
Again, my apologies for boring you with this online dating which is proving almost as addictive as blogging! It’s just fun. For now. And then after that cats will be fun. And cleaning kitty litter and dealing with hairballs. Fun. I think I’m going to look into the cost of flights to Houston…
posted by Duder at 12:52 PM
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