Am I being punked?
A friend of my boss just dropped by our office. Yeah, she and my boss are going to look at engagement rings because this lady is dropping $20,000 on one. She met the guy a couple of months ago and they’re getting married. Seriously. Is someone paying people to tell me stories like this to watch the expression on my face?
You know what else bugs me? When people (to be read: my boss) rolls her chair over to show me something and touches my computer screen. Don’t touch my monitor. Seriously. Why would you do that? Why would you eat a piece of chicken, suck your fingers noisily and then roll your way over here and get all up on my machine? It’s like Jim Halpert from the Office. I need my own camera crew to follow me around and zoom in on my incredulous face when people pull stunts like that. I’ll have the “is anyone else seeing what is happening to me?” look on my face. Or a murderous glare. Yeah, the murderous glare comes up more often than not.
And one more thing. I went to get some water and I came back and the CFO was sitting in my chair. Why would he do that? It was 2pm: did he think I went home for the day? Is his job so exhausting that he can’t stand up for the three minute duration of my absence? And then he feigns being sorry for sitting in my chair upon my return. You should be sorry. Don’t sit in my chair. Like, ever. I think he might have lowered it as well. I should break into his BMW and sit in the driver’s seat for a few minutes and monkey with the position. Or at least until security comes. That would definitely solve all my problems. Seriously.
You know what else bugs me? When people (to be read: my boss) rolls her chair over to show me something and touches my computer screen. Don’t touch my monitor. Seriously. Why would you do that? Why would you eat a piece of chicken, suck your fingers noisily and then roll your way over here and get all up on my machine? It’s like Jim Halpert from the Office. I need my own camera crew to follow me around and zoom in on my incredulous face when people pull stunts like that. I’ll have the “is anyone else seeing what is happening to me?” look on my face. Or a murderous glare. Yeah, the murderous glare comes up more often than not.
And one more thing. I went to get some water and I came back and the CFO was sitting in my chair. Why would he do that? It was 2pm: did he think I went home for the day? Is his job so exhausting that he can’t stand up for the three minute duration of my absence? And then he feigns being sorry for sitting in my chair upon my return. You should be sorry. Don’t sit in my chair. Like, ever. I think he might have lowered it as well. I should break into his BMW and sit in the driver’s seat for a few minutes and monkey with the position. Or at least until security comes. That would definitely solve all my problems. Seriously.
posted by Duder at 2:48 PM
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