It's hard out here for a pimp

A couple of people have recommended that I watch the film Hustle and Flow. I just want to state that no, I will not watch it. This is the plot line, taken from the Hustle and Flow page of the IMD website: "With help from his friends, a Memphis pimp in a mid-life crisis attempts to become a successful rapper." Okay. I'm not even sure where to begin. In fact, I'm so flabbergasted that I am first going to comment on something else: did you see the last Academy Awards? During the awards there was a performance of "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp", a song from the movie. Now think back, because I believe if you had seen the performance you would remember it. I remember it. I remember it because it was utter shite. I don't know any of the lyrics except for the refrain "it's hard out here for a pimp". Occasionally this refrain will get stuck and reverberate in my tiny pea head, enraging me like a dog that has been stung by a bee on his nose: what can the dumb dog do about it except keep clawing at his head? And this is what I do. Sometimes I try and render myself unconscious to stop that horrific train wreck of a song from looping over and over in my mind.
To return to the aforementioned (and now much lamented) Hustle and Flow let us start to dissect the plot line. With help from his friends, a Memphis pimp in a mid-life crisis attempts to become a successful rapper. Huh. I'm just really surprised that some dumb *sshole flogged that line to a bunch of marketing people and they said yeah, I'll buy some of that crazy you're selling. So, pimps have mid-life crises? It's kind of funny, because when middle aged white collar workers have mid-life crises they start to act kind of like pimps, showcasing all kinds of flashy shit, driving fast, heaty cars, etcetera ad nauseum. But let's really look at the crux of this statement: a pimp and a mid-life crisis. So what, up until now he thought it was all good? It takes him until he's like forty to realize that pimping out his stable of bee-atches isn't the thing to do? I mean, is he like sitting there at 4am some morning, drinking Jim Beam and smoking Camels and thinking "I really wish my highschool career counsellor hadn't recommended a life of pimping to me"? And then he does come to realize that he wants out and he decides that becoming a rapper is a sure bet? God knows that some days I want to throw down the Texas BA II Plus and the abacus and become a lion tamer, but, you know, it's a total shot in the dark and I have fears of not making it.
I'm bored with the plot line. I want to take issue with that shit song again. It's hard out here for a pimp. F*ck you. It's hard out here for a 30 year old bookkeeper with a diploma living in the most expensive city in North America. And guess what? I bet it's significantly harder for the prostitutes that have to have sex for money and then give some to the pimp. Yeah. Doesn't matter how bad my day is, how messed up my account reconciliations are, how late I am remitting GST: I never have to have sex against my will for money! I turn Michael down constantly.
Who dreamed this stupid movie up? Have we run out of people to feel sorry for? To make heroes out of? Let's see, we did the world trade centre, United Flight 93, Pearl Harbour, and we're currently idolizing the coast guard guys in choppers (the Guardian) and Iwo Jima. I think we have a long, long way to go before we have to start feeling sorry for - or caring about - pimps. We can put accountants on a pedestal for one. How about "it's hard out here for a tax accountant". Or we can give an ode to Monica Lewinsky via "it's hard out here for an intern in a stained dress".
I will not watch this movie.