My friends are funny

This email exchange (betwixt myself and Big D) made me laugh. I thought it most blogworthy. Big D - this is the kind of stuff that you should posting! It's wasted on bitter old me!
My email to Big D:
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I hate today with such a fervor it's quite ridiculous. I have fashioned a shiv out of old keepsakes from ex-boyfriends which I am going to use to mottle young lovebirds with stab marks if they display engrossing acts of public affection in my presence.
Hope you're all faring well! At least I have you guys. Right? RIGHT????
I actually wore a pink sweater today. I'm an idiot.

Big D's email in response:
I have detached myself from this 'holiday'. It was lame when I was/am single and it was lame when I had someone. Besides it is really nothing more than another tribute to consumerism sponsored by Hallmark and Purdy’s. At least my mom still wishes me a happy Valentines. Kinda sad when a 42 year old man has to get Valentines wishes from his mama.
I was thinking we could have one of those burning ceremonies where we burn all the keepsakes and artifacts from past relationships. Maybe an effigy or two...
Are you really wearing a pink sweater? Were you awake when you dressed? I am wearing a white dress shirt and have and have pinned a construction paper broken heart to it using a pushpin which is causing a delightful blood stain just below it.
I'm laughing on the inside... really.

Funny!