Hollywood thinks you're stupid
Daryl came over last night to watch Lost because his tv is only twelve inches or something ridiculous like that. Wait, was he talking about his tv? I dunno. At any rate, we grabbed some sushi (yes, Michael, I am actually getting sick o’ sushi having had it twice this week now) and had ourselves a little tete a tete before hot, hot Sawyer came on. I mean Lost. Hot, sweaty, dirty Lost.
For some reason we got onto the topic of lying. Wait, I remember the thought process: a commercial for a scary movie came on, I peed my pants and professed to be thoroughly terrified of scary movies (like Hustle and Flow), Daryl relayed some Bhuddist dogma to me about the negative energy needed to create such bloody gore-fests, I countered that it was disturbing that such a large segment of the population has a penchant for such violent carnage. Then there were a couple more links to the six degrees of Kevin Bacon-esque exercise and we finally arrived at lying. And how we dislike lying and how lying is bad. I professed that I would like to see Though Shalt Not Lie as the eleventh commandment (due to my staunch Catholic beliefs and fervent worship of the holy book, of course). We discussed how lying is common place – nay! utterly acceptable and rarely questioned – in our society. Let us take politicians for example: do you trust them? Would you agree that they are the most despicable, rotting lot you’ve had the displeasure of not meeting? They lie and they connive and weasel and WE DO NOTHING. Sure, the act of catching and trying liars would be akin to nailing jello to a wall, but there must be something the public can do to hold the people that are elected to lead our country accountable. Imagine a world where we could listen to a political speech, hear about a political platform – and then vote on it, knowing that it will be so! I currently elect my bureaucrats by discerning which one makes me feel least like showering in scalding water and scouring my body with a brillo pad. Politicians must think we are stupid.
Which segues nicely into the next topic: Hollywood thinks you’re stupid. See, I love Lost. I think there is a lot of nice eye candy, a unique and interesting premise and lots of divergent and converging plotlines (yes, I understand the opposing terminology of divergent and converging, but it holds), unfortunately there are some aspects of it that, no matter how undressed Jack or Sawyer are, I cannot get past, such as: the women don’t have hairy legs or underarms. I have tried to buy into the premise that razors were found in the luggage. That’s minor. The larger issue stems from the treatment of our beloved Jack, Kate and Sawyer by the infamous “others”. If you’re not a Lost fan you may wish to tune out now. But remember when our precious threesome were captured, and the head of the others told them that the others were “the good guys”? If that’s the case, why don’t the others just explain who they are, how they came to be on the island and stop making Jack and Kate sleep in a cage (though it was uber-funny when Jack walked into the plexiglass wall)? I don’t get it. And the head other guy tells Jack to “have patience”. Why? Well, I think it’s because if they just explained it all right now the series would come to a grinding halt. Yeah, they’d all sit down and have some chamomile tea and it would come out that the others are distant relatives Nordic Vikings that were waylaid on the island some centuries ago, and they’re xenophobic which accounts for their unfriendly behaviour, but that there’s a great therapist in the village and maybe if they all try, they can hug it out, bitches. So we’d have a couple of episodes of heartfelt apologies, and admission from Kate that she really can’t choose between Jack and Sawyer and perhaps a frisky ménage a trois would help clear her head (it would me, I tell you what). And we’d find out that Sun is actually pregnant with Hurley’s baby (another case in point: why isn’t the fat guy losing weight?). And then it’d pull a Bob Newhart and it would be discovered that this is all Charlie’s heroin induced stupor. But no, instead it is dragged out like a horrid soap opera (further proof – as if wrestling wasn’t enough - that the entertainment industry thinks you’re a dummah), becoming less intelligible with each passing segment. It begs the question: when will we see Jack and Sawyer naked? Sweet, sweet god, when?
For some reason we got onto the topic of lying. Wait, I remember the thought process: a commercial for a scary movie came on, I peed my pants and professed to be thoroughly terrified of scary movies (like Hustle and Flow), Daryl relayed some Bhuddist dogma to me about the negative energy needed to create such bloody gore-fests, I countered that it was disturbing that such a large segment of the population has a penchant for such violent carnage. Then there were a couple more links to the six degrees of Kevin Bacon-esque exercise and we finally arrived at lying. And how we dislike lying and how lying is bad. I professed that I would like to see Though Shalt Not Lie as the eleventh commandment (due to my staunch Catholic beliefs and fervent worship of the holy book, of course). We discussed how lying is common place – nay! utterly acceptable and rarely questioned – in our society. Let us take politicians for example: do you trust them? Would you agree that they are the most despicable, rotting lot you’ve had the displeasure of not meeting? They lie and they connive and weasel and WE DO NOTHING. Sure, the act of catching and trying liars would be akin to nailing jello to a wall, but there must be something the public can do to hold the people that are elected to lead our country accountable. Imagine a world where we could listen to a political speech, hear about a political platform – and then vote on it, knowing that it will be so! I currently elect my bureaucrats by discerning which one makes me feel least like showering in scalding water and scouring my body with a brillo pad. Politicians must think we are stupid.
Which segues nicely into the next topic: Hollywood thinks you’re stupid. See, I love Lost. I think there is a lot of nice eye candy, a unique and interesting premise and lots of divergent and converging plotlines (yes, I understand the opposing terminology of divergent and converging, but it holds), unfortunately there are some aspects of it that, no matter how undressed Jack or Sawyer are, I cannot get past, such as: the women don’t have hairy legs or underarms. I have tried to buy into the premise that razors were found in the luggage. That’s minor. The larger issue stems from the treatment of our beloved Jack, Kate and Sawyer by the infamous “others”. If you’re not a Lost fan you may wish to tune out now. But remember when our precious threesome were captured, and the head of the others told them that the others were “the good guys”? If that’s the case, why don’t the others just explain who they are, how they came to be on the island and stop making Jack and Kate sleep in a cage (though it was uber-funny when Jack walked into the plexiglass wall)? I don’t get it. And the head other guy tells Jack to “have patience”. Why? Well, I think it’s because if they just explained it all right now the series would come to a grinding halt. Yeah, they’d all sit down and have some chamomile tea and it would come out that the others are distant relatives Nordic Vikings that were waylaid on the island some centuries ago, and they’re xenophobic which accounts for their unfriendly behaviour, but that there’s a great therapist in the village and maybe if they all try, they can hug it out, bitches. So we’d have a couple of episodes of heartfelt apologies, and admission from Kate that she really can’t choose between Jack and Sawyer and perhaps a frisky ménage a trois would help clear her head (it would me, I tell you what). And we’d find out that Sun is actually pregnant with Hurley’s baby (another case in point: why isn’t the fat guy losing weight?). And then it’d pull a Bob Newhart and it would be discovered that this is all Charlie’s heroin induced stupor. But no, instead it is dragged out like a horrid soap opera (further proof – as if wrestling wasn’t enough - that the entertainment industry thinks you’re a dummah), becoming less intelligible with each passing segment. It begs the question: when will we see Jack and Sawyer naked? Sweet, sweet god, when?
posted by Duder at 2:37 PM
2 Comments:
Ahh, Tuesday afternoon and getting caught up on Tanis.
On Lying. After that talk did you catch my total contradiction and hypocracy when I told you about the little white lie I told. Anyway, have been reflecting on that. Note to self, practice what you preach or shut up.
On Hurley's weight. He had a food stash and was binging all the time. (I think the writers added that when viewers kept posing the same weight question)
On Lost 3-ways and nekkidness. Bring it!!
d
mommy, what's my password?
thanks
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