Today is the day
Okay, I must admit that I didn’t sleep well last night. Things, car things, that spin wildly out of my control, agitate me. I can’t fix my car. I have a fear that the alarm guy that is coming to look at it this afternoon won’t be able to fix it either. I fear things that I do not understand. I guess I do not understand my car alarm. My car alarm is a piece of shit. I do not understand pieces of shit. It’s almost poetic… like getting hit by a nun.
Here is a synopsis of my conversation with ICBC last night.
ICBC: “Did you get the name of the person that hit you?”
Me: “Yes. Sister Mary M.”
ICBC: pause… “Really?”
Me: “Uh, really.”
ICBC: “Was she like, all dressed up?”
Me: “Um, no. Regular clothes.”
ICBC: “Wow.”
Me: “Yeah. I guess I haven’t been praying hard enough.”
ICBC: laughing… “I guess not. Sorry. It’s not funny… but it kind of is.”
Me: “I think karma’s out to get me.”
Yeah. And then there was the conversation with Big D who told me that he fell out of his chair and started rolling on the floor laughing. Okay, great. You know, it really wasn’t funny when it actually happened. People tell me in a couple of weeks, when this is all over I will look back and be able to laugh. I don’t know. I just want to regain some of my hearing, bring my blood pressure back to normal, be able to drive my car and discern if I’m on some religious-right hit list. Simple things, really.
Big D said “you just have to laugh when stuff like that happens”. Um, no. When the equivalent of an air raid siren is going off, and it’s your fault, and you can’t make it stop, it’s not funny. The correct statement, then, is “your friends just have to laugh at you when stuff like that happens”. That’s more adept.
Anyways. I’m just hopeful that it will be fixed today. And that a Greenpeace volunteer, someone from Amnesty International or perhaps someone named Ghandi doesn’t drive into it in the meantime. That would really be terrific. You see that large, silver object there? Please don’t aim your car at it. Drive around it. It’s not invisible! That’s right…
I guess I should try to do karma correct things today to try and get back into fate’s good books. Lots of door opening, holding the elevator, giving change to homeless people. Fingers crossed people, fingers crossed.
Here is a synopsis of my conversation with ICBC last night.
ICBC: “Did you get the name of the person that hit you?”
Me: “Yes. Sister Mary M.”
ICBC: pause… “Really?”
Me: “Uh, really.”
ICBC: “Was she like, all dressed up?”
Me: “Um, no. Regular clothes.”
ICBC: “Wow.”
Me: “Yeah. I guess I haven’t been praying hard enough.”
ICBC: laughing… “I guess not. Sorry. It’s not funny… but it kind of is.”
Me: “I think karma’s out to get me.”
Yeah. And then there was the conversation with Big D who told me that he fell out of his chair and started rolling on the floor laughing. Okay, great. You know, it really wasn’t funny when it actually happened. People tell me in a couple of weeks, when this is all over I will look back and be able to laugh. I don’t know. I just want to regain some of my hearing, bring my blood pressure back to normal, be able to drive my car and discern if I’m on some religious-right hit list. Simple things, really.
Big D said “you just have to laugh when stuff like that happens”. Um, no. When the equivalent of an air raid siren is going off, and it’s your fault, and you can’t make it stop, it’s not funny. The correct statement, then, is “your friends just have to laugh at you when stuff like that happens”. That’s more adept.
Anyways. I’m just hopeful that it will be fixed today. And that a Greenpeace volunteer, someone from Amnesty International or perhaps someone named Ghandi doesn’t drive into it in the meantime. That would really be terrific. You see that large, silver object there? Please don’t aim your car at it. Drive around it. It’s not invisible! That’s right…
I guess I should try to do karma correct things today to try and get back into fate’s good books. Lots of door opening, holding the elevator, giving change to homeless people. Fingers crossed people, fingers crossed.
posted by Duder at 12:49 PM
1 Comments:
I stand by my statement. I don't mean to make light of the situation but c'mon Duder. You got hit while you were in a parking spot at a mall standing beside the car while the alarm was going off in broad dayligt. And hit by a nun!
Funny shit.
Post a Comment
<< Home