Hodge podge

I was really tired on Friday and went to bed shortly after 11 after going to the gym. The highlight of my evening was when I went to Subway. I don't go there very often. It was really great. The fellow that made my sandwich had some issues with enunciation. The sub-making process went like this:

Subway guy: "Would you like to get toasted?"

Duder: "What?"

Subway guy: "Would you like it toasted?"

Duder: "Uh... yeah."

Subway guy: "Are you easy?"

Duder: "I'm sorry, what?"

Subway guy: "Did you want cheese?"

Duder: "Yes please."

Subway guy: "Do you feel that you have reached a point in your life where you are stagnating, and are simply spinning your proverbial wheels, waiting for your life to unfold and offer up its secrets to you?"
Duder (starting to cry): "What?!?"
Subway guy: "What else do you want on it."

Duder (sniffling): "Everything except for the hot peppers."

Subway guy: "Carrots?"

Duder: "Carrots? What are you... oh, you guys have shredded carrots now. No, no carrots. I'll have some chips though."

Saturday morning I had coffee with Big D whom I had not seen for a very long time. He admired the holes in my drywall. It rained pretty hard. I almost snorted cappuccino out of my nose when a woman, running to get out of the rain, kind of ran into the door of the coffee shop. She had attempted a run/push the door open combo which went horribly awry because you have to pull the door to open it. The expression on her face was the human equivalent of what sparrows must look like when the collide with newly windexed glass. I guess I was an asshole to laugh, but it was pretty funny.

Michael came over later in the afternoon, and we watched Shaun of the Dead, which he hadn't yet seen. That's some funny shit. He also brought me treats, so he is currently my favourite person in the world. Then we went and met up with A, JupiterGirl and her new beau. Let's find a nickname for him. Let's call him... Salty. I was very happy to meet Salty: he was friendly, easy going, had a good sense of humor and seemed very relaxed. Michael liked him too.

It was great to JupiterGirl again; I hadn't seen her since she moved to the Island at the end of April. She looked good: tanned, kind of hippyish. She indicated that the "beeping" was getting to her. I said that I can't fall asleep at night unless I hear a car alarm going off, someone drag racing down 41st and the rustle of money being counted over in Shaughnessy. Then I dropped Michael off at the seabus, tried to watch MadTV, but decided sleep was more interesting.

Today! Brunch with N and Po. N is dating up a storm: I think she has one appointment every hour or something. I was exhausted just hearing about all the dates she has lined up. Po is in the fun dating limbo known as I-assumed-that-our-relationship-had-reached-a-point-whereby-it-was-felt-by-both-of-us-that-it-was-exclusive-so-why-do-you-still-have-an-online-dating-profile-up, and she's debating how to proceed. Because she is a rational, calm person I am sure she will deal with it in a rational, calm manner. My suggestion was to send strangely cryptic emails to him, whereby the problem becomes confusing and exacerbated and ultimately no one will know what the hell is going on. You know, because that's a fun thing to do.

Then I went home. Michael terrified me by regaling me with his first running clinic experience (my clinic starts on Thursday). He had been under the impression that they would be doing an 8km run. That impression was wrong: it was an 8 mile run, so like 13km or so. And he said that he was in the slow group. Well shit. He's significantly faster than I am. Maybe they'll just watch me run with my little egg-beater legs and, at the end of the run when they're all loitering at the finish line, waiting for me to cross with my little arms pumping like pistons and they'll hand me my money back and say, "You're too slow to run with the big dogs".

Then I went to Pier 1 and bought a little desk and chair because my laptop set up was, er, retarded to say the least. Now it's less so. Now it's like a normal human girl lives here. With her holes.