A perfect storm
Who gets drunk on a Monday night? I get drunk on a Monday night. Why would you choose to become intoxicated on any other night? Monday is the absolute best night to have one beer too many, and to drag your friends down with you. What could be better than whooping it up in a bar that is one third full, knowing full well that not only do you have to work the next day, but you also have to study for an exam in a class that you quite conceivably could fail? It was all so grand. But the main reason I’m totally wiped is because, as usual, I drank wine and the sugar content managed to keep me wired practically all night. When will I learn? Possibly never. It’s like Bart Simpson in the episode where Lisa rigs up a cupcake to shock Bart every time he touches it. But he keeps trying and trying to grab and eat it while getting shocked over and over. Eventually he curls into a fetal position on the floor, muttering “cupcake – ow; cupcake –ow”. That’s me.
And my coworkers suffer horribly for it too. The CFO had to watch in horror as I devoured my entire Popular Box #2 (why would they name it that? is there an unpopular box? does the loser box have to eat lunch by itself in the hallway because its mother can’t afford to buy it $200 running shoes so it can hang with the cool kids?) while muttering “aahhh… wasabi and soya sauce makes the churning stop. Why are the lights so bright? Can everyone please SHUT UP. My precious, precious spring roll”. Another coworker asked me what was new and then said “what’s making you sad, happy, irritated?” to which I replied “well, you’re here now”. This comment to a guy that donates 10% of his salary to the Surrey Food Bank.
But it was inevitable. I spent too many hours on Saturday, Sunday and Monday studying. I spent too little time outside the apartment during the weekend. My stress level was reaching an all time high (for those that know me well, this culminates in me biting my nails to the quick and then, because that’s not enough, peeling layers of my nails and picking my cuticles until they bleed). And then suddenly – freedom! Good music (how often do you go somewhere and find that they are playing an entire CCR album?)! Adequate wine! Stimulating conversation covering topics like:
• Women: Inferior Boxers or Do They Just Fight Like Girls?
• Snowmobiles: Betcha Can’t Buy Just One!
• You Sucked What for How Many Votes? Why Prostitution Still Hasn’t Been Legalized
• It’s 10:30 at Night – Do You Know What Your Union Anthem Is?
Seriously, who wouldn’t want to stay on and have another? And now my grand plan of getting a run in has been demoted to a ginger yoga session followed by a couple of hours of trying to keep my eyes open. Ah well. I guess the lesson here is that irregardless of what is going on, you need to stop and have a Saturday night. Preferably on Saturday night. Otherwise that Saturday night may just creep up on you when you least expect it. Ow.
And my coworkers suffer horribly for it too. The CFO had to watch in horror as I devoured my entire Popular Box #2 (why would they name it that? is there an unpopular box? does the loser box have to eat lunch by itself in the hallway because its mother can’t afford to buy it $200 running shoes so it can hang with the cool kids?) while muttering “aahhh… wasabi and soya sauce makes the churning stop. Why are the lights so bright? Can everyone please SHUT UP. My precious, precious spring roll”. Another coworker asked me what was new and then said “what’s making you sad, happy, irritated?” to which I replied “well, you’re here now”. This comment to a guy that donates 10% of his salary to the Surrey Food Bank.
But it was inevitable. I spent too many hours on Saturday, Sunday and Monday studying. I spent too little time outside the apartment during the weekend. My stress level was reaching an all time high (for those that know me well, this culminates in me biting my nails to the quick and then, because that’s not enough, peeling layers of my nails and picking my cuticles until they bleed). And then suddenly – freedom! Good music (how often do you go somewhere and find that they are playing an entire CCR album?)! Adequate wine! Stimulating conversation covering topics like:
• Women: Inferior Boxers or Do They Just Fight Like Girls?
• Snowmobiles: Betcha Can’t Buy Just One!
• You Sucked What for How Many Votes? Why Prostitution Still Hasn’t Been Legalized
• It’s 10:30 at Night – Do You Know What Your Union Anthem Is?
Seriously, who wouldn’t want to stay on and have another? And now my grand plan of getting a run in has been demoted to a ginger yoga session followed by a couple of hours of trying to keep my eyes open. Ah well. I guess the lesson here is that irregardless of what is going on, you need to stop and have a Saturday night. Preferably on Saturday night. Otherwise that Saturday night may just creep up on you when you least expect it. Ow.
posted by Duder at 3:57 PM
1 Comments:
Irregardless? Is that what you said? Ya ya, your special.
Your special word, that's what your.
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