Transference
I’m not sure if I have brought this up before, but why in god’s name are there Arrowroot cookies that have a banana flavour? I like the animal crackers, I like the original Arrowroot… why did the company feel the need to take a nice cookie and make it taste like something healthy? Numerous times I have been disappointed to find that there has been “transference” betwixt my virginal Arrowroot cookies and my lecherous banana. Somehow the flavours get all commingled in my lunch sack (it’s all very incestuous: I often whip open my sack to see if I can catch my yogurt and my sandwich in flagrante delicto), which results in me being disappointed when I finally get to have my 2pm cookie treat only to find it tastes like my 4:30pm fruit treat. Hey, why not beef ice cream? Or perhaps broccoli cake? Suffice to say I was somewhat concerned when Michael brought home the aforementioned banana cookies. Does he not listen to my rambling diatribes about which foods are not allowed to touch while being transported to work? Is he not concerned about the general intent behind the cookies: to make something that is supposed to be sweet and delectable taste like something that is good for us? I’m a little upset, I confess.
You know what else is upsetting? Arbor Mist. I cringe every time I walk past it in the liquor store. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some uppity oenophile that holds out to be the crème de la crème, but let’s face it: if you have to take your wine, carbonate it and add fruit juice you should just buy a mickey of vodka, pour in into your Slurpee and have done with it. This is something I do often at work. Makes for interesting accounting. Yeah. So the next time I have a get together, call me first. I’ll tell you what to bring. And what can and cannot touch in the grocery bag while en route.
On a totally unrelated note, everyone reading this (all two of you) must go see Borat. Quite possibly the funniest movie that I have seen in my entire life. I laughed so hard I cried. I thought the guy beside me was going to have a coronary. I thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed the movie. I want to make sexy time with Borat. His strange, holey, fishnet-like underwear was very similar to those that I donned during my brief sojourn at the hospital, so in that I feel we are kindred spirits.
You know what else is upsetting? Arbor Mist. I cringe every time I walk past it in the liquor store. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some uppity oenophile that holds out to be the crème de la crème, but let’s face it: if you have to take your wine, carbonate it and add fruit juice you should just buy a mickey of vodka, pour in into your Slurpee and have done with it. This is something I do often at work. Makes for interesting accounting. Yeah. So the next time I have a get together, call me first. I’ll tell you what to bring. And what can and cannot touch in the grocery bag while en route.
On a totally unrelated note, everyone reading this (all two of you) must go see Borat. Quite possibly the funniest movie that I have seen in my entire life. I laughed so hard I cried. I thought the guy beside me was going to have a coronary. I thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed the movie. I want to make sexy time with Borat. His strange, holey, fishnet-like underwear was very similar to those that I donned during my brief sojourn at the hospital, so in that I feel we are kindred spirits.
posted by Duder at 12:55 PM
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