Snot

What’s the deal with snot? What is snot? Why is my body producing so much of it that I actually used an entire roll of toilet paper to blow my nose yesterday? I think my sinuses are broken. I’m contemplating just shoving some toilet paper up my nostrils to stem the onslaught… of snot. I can’t blow my nose anymore because there’s no skin left on it and it hurts. I can’t wait for the CFO to come into my office to review payroll and I’ll have two strips of toilet paper dangling from my nostrils.
The other fun thing about this cold is that my eyes are watering incessantly and they are very sensitive to light, so I have to squint a lot. Also my ears are plugged, so I can’t hear very well. On the plus side I got a very decent ab workout from trying to cough my tonsils out the other day. Yeah, that was fun. People are definitely leaving me alone at work, so that’s nice. The CFO said, “Do you think you’re contagious?”. Well, given that I’m covered in snot I’m going to have to say… yes! Let’s have a hug.
I’m also enjoying studying income tax while in this state. Last night I taped my eyelids open and propped my head on the table with pencils in an effort to try and read about the refundable dividend tax on hand calculation. It worked surprisingly well. Later on in the evening I had some Neo-Citran (extra strength) as well as an extra strength Ibuprofen to try and stem this unassailable sinus pain. I think I actually got high, so I really wouldn’t recommend that course of medicinal action to anyone. Okay, maybe I would recommend it to some people…
So that’s what’s going on with me these days. Snot very fun.