Overdoing it

Alright, so the possibility exists that I overdid it this weekend, engaging in more hedonistic activities than was healthy. Meh, what I am going to do? Stop? I kicked the weekend off on Friday with Big D: we ordered some sushi and watched the Big Lebowski. This is the second time that I have watched this movie in the last couple of months and, for the second time I really can’t remember how it ends because I got baked again. I can’t watch movies when I’m stoned. Plotlines? What plotlines? Every sentence out of each character’s mouth becomes a story in and of itself and is suddenly immeasurably meaningful. Two minute dialogues seem to take eons. I start to convince myself of three things: that the creators of whatever it is that I am watching have made this specifically for people that are high; given the seemingly endless conversations the characters are engaging in the movie will surely never come to a close; and that at any moment the cops are going to bust down my apartment door. Not the most fun way to watch a movie. Then I ate a lot of chocolate.
The next day I slept pretty late and then remained in bed to watch some shite on the W Network. Whatever. It seemed important at the time. I also re-watched Lost in Translation which I still think kicks ass and still made me cry at the end. Later on I hopped a bus to join JupiterGirl’s 30th birthday celebration at Steamworks. It started out low key but I have a recollection of trying to pull a gigantic dildo that had been fastened to the table in front of me off, with little success, so that the end result would’ve looked like I was giving a hand job to a penis that had sprung forth from my table. Awesome. I don’t know why I can’t get any dates. We then decided to go to Bimini’s, but as usual there was a line up so we ended up at Hell’s Kitchen. I got home around 1am which wasn’t bad but I must’ve inflicted some major damage in the interim because I woke up with JupiterGirl’s vibrator (a gag gift… well, not so so funny I suppose) in my purse. Apparently I had liberated it from her the night before. Have I mentioned I haven’t had any action since November? Look what I have been reduced to!
On Sunday I called Michael out of the blue and we decided to go for a walk around his neighborhood in North Vancouver. He laughed when he saw me. I was looking and feeling a little haggard. It got really cold on our walk and at one point I could no longer feel my face, which was somewhat concerning. We then went to Coral Court for awesome Chinese food. I love Coral Court. I guess Coral Court wasn’t enough, because upon my return home I ate some of the leftovers and then decimated my kitchen cupboards. Jupitergirl? That artichoke and asiago dip? Never bring it to my house again! I attribute any weight gain to you.
I went grocery shopping on Monday, which was really exciting. Then, because Michael and I thought we had resolved the issue of my inability to log on to the FREE internet at Esquire’s, I went to Esquire’s where again, I could not log on. I think at this point there was still some residual pot, chocolate, alcohol and artichoke dip in my bloodstream, so I was calmer that I might otherwise have been, though I’m sure my face was a healthy shade of red nonetheless. Frick my IP address and frick my network adapter. And frick the DNS error. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr……….
Yeah. So not the healthiest of healthies. I failed to get in my weekly 10k run which is doubly disappointing because I’ve signed up for the Sun Run through work and because I have to beat the Newfie Pimp shortly (and apparently he’s been training). I have to beat him. I was telling C that I was still trying to beat 50 minutes for a 10k and he said, “you’re slow”. Well thanks. Thanks for that. If you had my strict diet and exercise regime you’d be slow too. God, I think I can feel my arteries hardening.