My first monday
I worked today. For money, like. I feel like such a whore. I didn't sleep well last night, anticipating all the work that would be piled in my in-tray, on my desk and on my chair. Seriously, at my last job I returned to work to find that they had run out of available surface space and had resorted to piling shit on my chair. Uh, that means you need to pay me more money. Or that I need to quit. So I quit. Hee hee.
Eyes tired, muddled, I drag my ass in to work and find that a lot of my stuff has been taken care of. Seriously, it was the smoothest transition back to work that I may have ever experienced. I was still behind, but it wasn't insurmountable. I think I shall be caught up by the end of the day tomorrow! And I was able to enjoy the added benefit of fooling my coworkers into thinking it was Tuesday, since I'm not normally in on Mondays. That'll teach them, those friendly, engaging, cooperative bastards.
The piece de resistance was leaving at 4pm, since I know have a 35 hour week. I had to remind myself to leave at 4. It was sweet. I was like, "yep, check ya later". I was actually kind of worried about what to do with myself from the time I got home until bed, since today wasn't a running today. Got home, decided to pay some bills, clean some of my messes up. Get a call from C who wants to go for beers. What is it with guys and calling at the last second? I said, "I'll meet you at 7" and he balks. I mean, clearly I'm worth waiting for, but I know it must be excruciating. I compromise at 6:30. Dude, I was paying bills. I'm a single accountant, it's the closest thing that I'll have to sex for some time and you interrupted it. That's okay. I like beer, too.
So we have beers. Haven't seen him for a while. He rages about the garbage strike. I'm still blissed out from my week off and I'm like, "can't we just all hug it out?". Apparently we can't do that. Like, why can't we just lie in the grass and stare at the clouds and listen to Jack Johnson, man? He wants to buy some eggs, leave them out in the sun for a couple of weeks and then go egg the union boss's house. Give me a couple of weeks. My mellowness will dissipate and then I'll be like "yeah, yeah, let's take those fucking eggs, light them on fire and egg his house. And then cut his brake lines!". Okay, let's hope not. Mellow Duder is fun too.
I fill him in on the B fiasco and how B repeatedly tells me that I'm awesome. And how I think that if you feel someone is awesome, you ought not treat them poorly. He agrees. Then, as we're on the "awesome" topic, I tell him about Skyhammer who thinks we Canadians use the term "awesome" rather frivolously, as in "I found a used condom in the gutter! Awesome!". And then C says that he thinks that I'm awesome and I start to develop a complex. Awesome like B thinks I'm awesome? Is this C's way of telling me he's about to go to Mexico? Or like gutter condom awesome? Oh my god! And I still am unsure about the Mickey's bottle cap! It really can't be "an eye for an eye"! What is the circular object in the box!? Oh shit, I can't handle working Mondays!
Yes, I will have another 1516, thank you. And then we hug it out. Phew.
Eyes tired, muddled, I drag my ass in to work and find that a lot of my stuff has been taken care of. Seriously, it was the smoothest transition back to work that I may have ever experienced. I was still behind, but it wasn't insurmountable. I think I shall be caught up by the end of the day tomorrow! And I was able to enjoy the added benefit of fooling my coworkers into thinking it was Tuesday, since I'm not normally in on Mondays. That'll teach them, those friendly, engaging, cooperative bastards.
The piece de resistance was leaving at 4pm, since I know have a 35 hour week. I had to remind myself to leave at 4. It was sweet. I was like, "yep, check ya later". I was actually kind of worried about what to do with myself from the time I got home until bed, since today wasn't a running today. Got home, decided to pay some bills, clean some of my messes up. Get a call from C who wants to go for beers. What is it with guys and calling at the last second? I said, "I'll meet you at 7" and he balks. I mean, clearly I'm worth waiting for, but I know it must be excruciating. I compromise at 6:30. Dude, I was paying bills. I'm a single accountant, it's the closest thing that I'll have to sex for some time and you interrupted it. That's okay. I like beer, too.
So we have beers. Haven't seen him for a while. He rages about the garbage strike. I'm still blissed out from my week off and I'm like, "can't we just all hug it out?". Apparently we can't do that. Like, why can't we just lie in the grass and stare at the clouds and listen to Jack Johnson, man? He wants to buy some eggs, leave them out in the sun for a couple of weeks and then go egg the union boss's house. Give me a couple of weeks. My mellowness will dissipate and then I'll be like "yeah, yeah, let's take those fucking eggs, light them on fire and egg his house. And then cut his brake lines!". Okay, let's hope not. Mellow Duder is fun too.
I fill him in on the B fiasco and how B repeatedly tells me that I'm awesome. And how I think that if you feel someone is awesome, you ought not treat them poorly. He agrees. Then, as we're on the "awesome" topic, I tell him about Skyhammer who thinks we Canadians use the term "awesome" rather frivolously, as in "I found a used condom in the gutter! Awesome!". And then C says that he thinks that I'm awesome and I start to develop a complex. Awesome like B thinks I'm awesome? Is this C's way of telling me he's about to go to Mexico? Or like gutter condom awesome? Oh my god! And I still am unsure about the Mickey's bottle cap! It really can't be "an eye for an eye"! What is the circular object in the box!? Oh shit, I can't handle working Mondays!
Yes, I will have another 1516, thank you. And then we hug it out. Phew.
posted by Duder at 9:04 PM
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